feel so lifeless. wanna go working but cant work now. only can wait till time i can start full time work. well anyway today went to watch movie transformer. and get a pair of adidas shoes. wanted to buy the bag also buy way over budget. shall wait till my pay come first. till then can only browse around. and still cough like hell and it gets worse especially at night.

felling so tired. don't know what wrong. been training all days but still can feel tired easily. cant keep eyes open in class or in bus or anything. sleeping disorder i guess. anyway these last 2 weeks have not been going gym as much as usual. shall continue my training by next week.

another thing is although i regret to admit it, but looks like i cant stop smoking. without it i feel so lethargic.

decided not to close this blog haha.. now time to write for fun. hmmm suddenly have strong urge to learn some music. maybe play a guitar. can anyone teach me how to play!!! and time to polish back my piano skill. long time haven't play my skill now very rusty. considering to find a good tutor who can teach me play it properly. its been 10 donkey years since i touch a piano. LOL

still looking around for a good degree course. wanted a degree that contain both accounting and finance but very hard to find. the best i can find is double major in both. none of double degree. however already decided to take a certified accoutant course which i must complete in 10 years. OMG!!! such a long time. well they say it's not easy to pass so they give 10 years to complete the whole programme. seems like i will stay here for some time again. maybe staying here for good.

and my sis coming next year to continue her studies here. and till now i haven't done any planning for her. shit!!! time is running out.... human can wait time to pass by but time never wait for anyone...

and i still coughing nonstop zzzZZZzzz...

time pass so slow. can't it go any faster!!! i want to forget about the past. but why when i starting to forget there is always something to remind me of it. am i not meant to forget it?

well finally i ready to move on. and maybe the time to close this blog has come finally. all my wishes and prayers only for you regardless of wherever i may be. good bye dear. wishing you eternal happiness.

finally the story of big bear and cutie pig ended here.

there is end for everything. i dedicated this entry for my ex. my dearest girl. maybe i should have said this long time ago. and if by any chance you read this, please forgive my foolishness. you are right i just refusing to see the truth about us for such a long time. maybe all this promises of waiting for you has make me feel so tired thus we ended up like this. and also making you so tired. but i am happy for you have find the man you love. although it's pain but as long as you are happy i will be happy. and i will always pray for you. the blessing you have been wishing to get when we seperated. i can give it to you now. i will always love you like before till now it never change nor will it change. sorry for me being such a coward not dare to say this in front of you. if fate really exist, may we meet again someday somewhere in this small part of the world. wishing you all the goodness of life. and sorry and farewell. I LOVE YOU..