"The worst feeling isn't being lonely; it's being forgotten by someone you would never forget"
by: Ivan

Q:wat is luv?
a:luv is wen sum1 breaks urheart n d most amazing thing is tat u stil luv them wid evry broken piece..!

U may be out of my sight, but not out of my heart, U may be out of my reach but not out of my mind.I may mean nothing to u but u will always be special to me!!

found out that i am going for industrial attachment first for next semester. finally this sem going to end. without i realise it going to be 6 months. sigh...it has been so long...

"Hate That I Love You"

As much as I love you
As much as I need you
And I can't stand you
Must everything you do make me wanna smile
Can I not like you for awhile? (No....)

But you won't let me
You upset me girl
And then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget (that I was upset)
Can't remember what you did

But I hate it...
You know exactly what to do
So that I can't stay mad at you
For too long that's wrong

But I hate it...
You know exactly how to touch
So that I don't want to fuss.. and fight no more
Said I despise that I adore you

And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah...)
I can't stand how much I need you (I need you...)
And I hate how much I love you boy (oh whoa..)
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so (oooh..)

You completely know the power that you have
The only one makes me laugh

Said it's not fair
How you take advantage of the fact
That I... love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain't right

And I hate how much I love you girl
I can't stand how much I need you (yeah..)
And I hate how much I love you girl
But I just can't let you go
But I hate that I love you so

One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me
And your kiss won't make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you'll probably always have a spell on me...

Yeaahhh... Oohh...

As much I love you (as much as I need you)
As much as I need you (oooh..)
As much I love you (oh..)
As much as I need you

And I hate that I love you so
And I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need you (can't stand how much I need you)
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can't let you go (but I just can't let you go no..)
And I hate that I love you so

And I hate that I love you so.. so...

getting tired. why is it very hard for poeple to understand me. is it that hard. i am quite doesn't mean i don't know anything. it just i don't wish to say anything. vexed!!! poeple grow up every single day. i am not the boy who just came here and need to be thought every single thing. before you realise it, that boy already long time gone. keeping too many troubles inside. feel so so tired. too much to take too much to handle... simply too much...

living today to the fullest will lead to better tomorrow...

oh, i carry a photograph
girl of the way you used to be
love looking back at me, now it's just a memory
you were all laughter then
and you were my light when it was dark
how did we lose our way, how did we fall apart
'cause something in our kisses
said love would never end
and deep down you still feel it too
but you won't let me in

so when you smile like mona lisa
my heart falls to pieces
('cause) smiling just can't hide
all the sadness in your eyes
if i could only hold you
love you like i used to
but girl what can i do
when you smile like mona lisa

the way that i held you close
the way that you whispered my name
we made a work of art
know there's just an empty frame

all we had
baby we could have again
and deep down you still feel it too
but you won't let me in

so when you smile like mona lisa
my heart falls to pieces
('cause) smiling just can't hide
all the sadness in your eyes
if i could only hold you
love you like i used to
but girl what can i do
when you smile like mona lisa

so when you smile like mona lisa
my heart falls to pieces
('cause) smiling just can't hide
all the sadness in your eyes
if i could only hold you
love you like i used to
but girl what can i do
when you smile like mona lisa

i carry a photograph
girl of the way you used to be...

somehow today feel less stressfull n less emo. nice feeling... and i am nearing bankrup. can start worry about my school work. no interest in continuing anymore. maybe i should quit schooling. but then my 3 years of work will be wasted just like that. not worth it ya... well will just aim for pass. it all i can do for now. every single thing went wrong... frustration...

sometimes you can't do everything by yourself. you need people around you to help you pull through everything. why suddenly i become such a weak person?

looks like i am going to fail this semester.

feeling so tired. keep trying to smile while i actually not feel like smiling. feel my life so fake. talk to my friend. he say "if you loved someone and you can find another person so easily to replace him. is it called love?". all promises are broken. all dreams are shattered. love is crap. a rubbish talk who only those that believe will say. learn it the hard way. love is nothing much than a dream. dream will always remain as a dream. love is the most lethal poisonous subtance in the world. first it will drunk you and make you feel high. next it will kill you instantly. no more for me. for my heart had died...

my zippo lighter

my cigarettes case

went to Far East to buy these. looks cool so decided to buy it lol..

found this pic. nice. suit what i feel for now. it's getting harder each day to live

Some say love it is a river
That drowns the tender reed.
Some say love it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed.

Some say love it is a hunger
An endless, aching need
I say love it is a flower,
And you it's only seed.

It's the heart afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking
That never takes the chance

It's the one who won't be taken,
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying
That never learns to live.

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long.
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong.

Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed that with the sun's love,
In the spring, becomes the rose.

humans heart and soul are so fragile. cant withstand hardship nor temptation. when everything goes wrong, you have none other than yourself to rely on. support from people around you will always remain as support. you will need to pull yourself together to move on. my perfect world, slowly but surely are collapsing. idolisation, guidance none is left. nothing left but myself. eventually none i can rely on except myself. stay strong!!!

starting to get irritated with my life. one after another. all my problems, all come to find me. think i what. problem solver ar... one day all of this problems will kill me soon...soon...everything goes very wrong. if i have all the money, everything will be solve. i have nothing left.

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!

can't controled myself anymore!!!!!!!!!! i almost punch the stupid aunty at e printing shop. fuck you la. not my fault and she scold me. and went back to class and someone took my fucking chair. my leg already killing me and still someone took my chair. fuck la... ARGH!!!

went for smu talk. not much info i can get as there are none of the smu lecturer there. all there are only those poly students who went to smu and give talk about life in smu.

still need to rush for project. left with 3 mere short weeks to complete all the works. my last studying semester. shall earn as much points as possible. finally graduation day are getting nearer. soon will leave sch life and maybe will miss it. left with few weeks of studying. yeah finally, cant wait till the day come.

after sch went to play basketball with fabian and some of his team mates. learn a good lesson today. compare to them my speed and stamina still far behind. feel like so noob when playing with them. knoe my limit. and will break it. anyway limits are meant to be broken. and i maybe a little bit put too much stress on my knee while playing. end up having difficulies to walk after that.

time is passing too fast sometimes. making you unable to enjoy all the good things in world.

finally collect my pay cheque. initially was planning went to bugis for gym right after sch. but canceled due to my pay cheque. no body could collect it for me thus must went down and get it by myself so end up not going to gym. then the lady boss was asking whether we all could work for next week. still considering but most likely will work. yeah another source of income for me lol.

work work work

wanna congrat my EMO friend. it's his birthday today haha. congrat man all best wishes for you!!

and i am late for class. still at home lazy to go. shooot la....each day passed it getting bored...........

when you are unhappy admitt that you are. there is no point in hiding it. it will only make you feel worse. after a good cry everything will be ok and you will be able to feel happy once more.

just come back from clubbing. overall today clubbing is fun though a bit squezzy but still it is fun. addicted to their liqour haha... but it too ex for my pocket to handle. must find work to support it haha. nice songs nice babes around and nice dancing wooooottt.... must go more lol... liqour smoking n clubbing my life getting more bold these day lol. this is what it called enjoying while you can. lets release the "beast" inside!!!

oh ya and i am looking for guitar. anyone knoe where to buy one good guitar at cheaper price??

watched this jap show about love. a truely nice show. but this kind of love will only happen in movie not in reality. true love, does it exist? can it last till end of time? will it able to go through all obstacle? i guess nope. there are no such thing that will last forever. life with the flow anything come to you it just a bonus. letting go is one of lesson in life.

first of all i wanna congrat my budd, hanyu. he graduate from nyp today and joining nus by next august. congrats man!! knoe you will make it far. but guessed as much since u are dam good at studying lol. well looks like we cant play basketball anymore since we all staying so far away. but still good luck in nus and please find some pretty gals from nus for me lol...

this year is a bad year. just found out from my aunt that my youngest uncle had divorce. nothing will last forever. is it true? i hate this kind of feeling. and i hate myself for remembering the past. am i still running away?