there is a IT fair at suntec. went there to see if there any cheap laptop. well didn't find any cheap 1 but saw plenty of beauties around especially those models lol. but despite it all still cant find any interest in them. feel so normal. looks like i have lost interest in woman. but i am still straight and will always straight till the day i die=]

passed by to the place that i hate most. her work place. thought i have forgotten it all but suddenly all the memories came back. all memories about us, it feel just like yesterday. my friends told me after a while it will be disapeared but doesn't feel like it going to happen anytime soon. fate is cruel. read this line from somewhere "love is not about finding someone you can live with. but to find someone you can live without." nice and deep meaning but also pain. i hate what it's called love.

this time i really in deep shit. spend too much for this year. desperately need to find solution. why i suddenly become so rash in deciding all of it. first thing first, i need to cut down smoking. spend too much on it. wth!!!!! hope my first business trial will take off soon. this is the only thing i can depend on and to focus all my heart and soul. i swear i will make it happen and successfull. no matter what happens i will CONQUER this world with my perseverance.

today go driving. nice man. haven been driving for ages haha. it nice to have car hoho. after graduate i confirm will buy 1 cheap car LOL. although my mum sure will kill me if i asked her to buy me 1. but it's alright. save my own and get 1.

went to nbl lib, but so many ppl there. can't find any space to do my work. end up walking around with my buds around city area. then we stop by a small church there. went in and pray to GOD. got a homey feeling for me. i realised it been quite long since i went to a church.

on my way home saw some kids with their parents. they look so happy haha. nice to have a perfect family. miss the time when i still have mine. family is like a home where i can go home to but now it's gone. thought i found one here but she left haha. when i start thinking about past, inside me start to cry. before i realised it my tears came out again. i promised her i won cry anymore but it hard to do so. i such a loser and failure. when my family need me most i not there. when my sis need her big bro to protect her i not there. when my mum need her son to protect her i not there. if only i never came to this stupid country i still have a home to go to. when i thought i find my new home she also left me. this lone feeling getting more and more irritating.

finally fixed my laptop. as i have guessed my OS crashed. looks like there is too much stuffs inside my hard disk. need to remove some just like in my life. i need to start to remove some ugly thoughts from my mind. get a good scolding from my friend last night. well he is right i really need to start thinking about where i am going to from now on. keep on going like this is not the best solution. if it keep on going like this i only going to harm myself more. there is always first time in everything. time for me to take the initiative, dare to take the first step in mylife. looks like i still need more time to deal with all my problems and gathering all my broken pieces. feels so tired...tired saying sorries , tired of regreting, tired of all. when can i break free from my own jail? maybe it will be the time i leave this world.

TIRED....................

If what had written for me is the best for you,
I will make you to be my most beautiful memories.
But it is impossible for me to erase your foot's step,
as it had embedded in my life.
As long my heart still beating,
I will always remember you as my true love.

really unlucky day. laptop broke down. must bring to their main office to repair wth!!!!!!!!!!!!! arrrrr.. y all bad things always happened to me. starting to really fed up man!!!!!!!!!!! oh GOD bring forward all your test to me. I will braced it all till the very end. and i shall grow stronger. just like YOU want me to. thanks GOD.........

went to ntu tea ceremony with hanyu this afternoon at swisshotel. he is accepted by all 3 biggest universities in singapore haha. nice work LOL. well anyway the ntu lecturers are very friendly and nice. think it should be nice if i can study there. but too bad, i don't feel like continue study IT field. so bye bye ntu LOL...

end up walking around library and chat all the way till dinner time. talks a lots and suddenly struck on my mind our 10 years promise which 3 of us made 5 years ago. time is ticking and we still haven even see where our life will bring us to. left with 5 more years to fulfill our promise. 5 years is fast man. just like a blink of eyes. hey guys lets buck up and fulfill our promise leave no regret alright!!!!!!!!!! shape our own destiny with our own hand.

life is about completing a big jigsaw puzzle. you will never know what your life will be until you placed all the pieces together. human being is special creature. all they have go through in life love, confident, character and others no matter what it never gone. it always inside them. we may forget them but we never lost them. not now tomorrow or in future. live life to the fullest. live with no regret. and aim for the highest. future is unpredictable full with unlimited possibilities. be somebody. show to the world that you can do it. use your own strength and shine. shine like the stars. be the brightest star you can be as life is short. treasure your life as it happen only once and it more precious then anything this world can valued. live life that you will never forget and leave beautiful memories about us that can never be forgotten.

respect is something you earn with your own sweat and blood. it is not something you can get just by saying it. some people deserve your respect and some are not

totally pissed off today. feel like smashing some ppl head. so went to gym and vent off some steam. think i over do it and i end up with injured arms. my whole right hand cant move or carry things temporary. went to play basketball with friends but disapointed cuz i cant even move my hand. end up with heavy lost. sorry guys i not in mood in anything today. sorry if i make any one angry. blame myself for my mistakes

went to this private school which offer lots of nice interesting courses and nice environment to study too. well they say their courses is one of the best in the world and their certification is recognize internationally range from diploma to masters. quite interested in their degree programmes.. shall find out more about them haha... see some light regarding my studies LOL

dunno y lately i interested in double degree courses. my friends think i losing my mind. want to take dbl deg while working haha.. well i sure am getting nutzzz...

feel very tired and sleepy. want to go home and sleep. but when reached home, i cant sleep anymore. wth!!! start to hate my room. don't have the cossy feeling anymore. once more i drifting apart... wish i had a bottle of whisky and cigar on my hand now..........

passed my final theory haha...good one step closer to get my driving license haha.. and i pass after first try hoho.. surprised when i not study much whahahaha.. well can start planning to buy my car soon.. RAV4 or Toyota RUSH. quite like both..hmmmmmm hard choice.

lately feel my legs muscle getting stronger. looks like my training use ankle weight does pay off..can i dunk soon?? LOL.....

i dunno why today suddenly feel like smoking. luckily i can hold my craving. looks like i have become addicted to it

today skip 3 hrs of class. went to fun world and play pool there haha.... getting more n more bold these day man... n slacker ...wonder how are we going to pass this sem lol.. well anyway my aiming gets worse.. need to play more LOL

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL MOTHERS AROUND THE WORLD.
give special thanks to my mum who has been there for me since young. thanks mums i can never repay my debts to you. no amount of money can ever repay for all that you have going through to bring me up.
thanks mum. your the best.
loves you

Everybody's got something they had to leave behind

One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time

There's no use looking back or wondering

How it could be now or neither been

All this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

Somewhere in my memory

I lost all sense of time

And tomorrow can never be

'Cause yesterday is all that fills my mind

There's no use looking back or wondering

How it should be now or neither been

Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

You'll always be the dream that fills my head

You'll always be the one I know

There's no use looking back or wondering

Because love is a strange and funny thing

No matter how I try and try

I just can't say goodbye

I never had a dream come true

Till that day that I found you

Even though I pretend that I've moved on

You'll always be my baby

I never found the words to say

You're the one I think about each day

And I know no matter where love takes me to

A part of me will always be...

A part of me will always be...with you

suddenly thinking about her. this time it getting worse. trying to let it go but it gets harder. what am i thinking? she already have a new life with the 1 she love. i should be happy for her. this is sucks. the more i tried to let go the worsen it gets. feel like digging my heart out and stab it. i getting tired each day................

attend yoga class for first time in my entire life LOL...was quite fun with all the streching and stuff. really make ur body sweat man.. haha..then went to gym and do some exercise. feel lots lighter lately lol...(lose 3 kg today haha) nice :) must do more work out... target to lose 20 kg for me haha... will see how it goes for this month LOL... my old weight here i come wahaha.....

ALONES

Your fragile, folded wings
Are just tired from the pure blue sky
You don’t have to force your smiles for anyone
It’s okay to smile….for yourself
That lonely feeling keeps coming up on me
A single candle burns still inside
There shouldn’t be an expensive chandelier in a wild place like this
Can I really bury it all with empty words?
I don’t even know anymore
As long as we can swim freely in our dreams
We don’t need that sky anymore
Even if u can’t let go of the past
I’ll still be there to meet you tomorrow
Your fragile, folded wings
Are just tired from the pure blue sky
You don’t have to force your smiles for anyone
It’s okay to smile….for yourself

from: BLEACH

physically in sch but mind is some where else. i officially feeling sick of studying.. wat happen to me man...no mood in doing anything....lets rise HELL in this world!!!!!!!!!!!!

am i strange? i keep asking this question so may times today. maybe i am. when those close to me do some mistake on me, i never scold or curse them. in fact i keep on forgiving them. i getting tired of this. be a good man is getting harder for me. i wanna be a bad guy. i remember once when i was young. my parent had a heated argument just over a small little thing. i was still sharing my room with my little sis at that time. at around midnight my mum took insectiside to my room and asked me "Do you wanna go with me?". i was so scare and my sis already sleeping, lucky she is sleeping. she don't have to go through hell with me on that night. while my mum depression getting worse, all my dad do was smoking outside the house. leaving me to help my mum from life and death. and so happened it was my birthday night. since that day i start to hate my dad. but my heart can never hate him. and now they both seperate but not divorce. been trying to make them reunite again but other just don't get my intension. i don't know since when this happen to me. always fighting for the impossible. when will this fighting end? i getting sick of my life. wish i was dead. now i only have 1 wish to GOD. please take me away. always looking for tomorrow, wishing i will die in my sleep. wish i will never wake up tomorrow. my darkness starting to eat me from inside. losing my sanity. i becoming the one type of person i hate most.

first time write this kind of thing...hope can help me go through with my life haha... been break up with suhuan for over a month now, but still cant forget her. love can make and destroy man no matter how good they are. hard to see her with another man and hear she say that 3 letters words to another man. been trying to move on with life but it getting harder with each passing days. can i really move on? we shall see how. oh GOD help me going through this life, been thinking lots stuff lately. looks like i have not been growing up much lately, especially after since secondary sch. been living in the pass for too long, maybe that why she left me. too much maybe too much despair. make a discovery about myself, relationship is the most important thing in my life. it like my greatest strength and weakness. i have decide to close my heart. will never again fall for it. let fate decide on my life. time to say good bye my BELOVED. i will be your angel watching over your from far just like i been doing all this time. looks like it my fate to be able to watch you only from afar. steeling my heart making it stronger. looks like i have been complaining too much to my friends. well in life no matter what happens only your TRUE FRIENDS will stay by your side. thanks guys for being there when i need your support. come to think of it i only have very few friends in my 5 years in singapore haha... hmmm should increase my circle of friends more LOL...