am i strange? i keep asking this question so may times today. maybe i am. when those close to me do some mistake on me, i never scold or curse them. in fact i keep on forgiving them. i getting tired of this. be a good man is getting harder for me. i wanna be a bad guy. i remember once when i was young. my parent had a heated argument just over a small little thing. i was still sharing my room with my little sis at that time. at around midnight my mum took insectiside to my room and asked me "Do you wanna go with me?". i was so scare and my sis already sleeping, lucky she is sleeping. she don't have to go through hell with me on that night. while my mum depression getting worse, all my dad do was smoking outside the house. leaving me to help my mum from life and death. and so happened it was my birthday night. since that day i start to hate my dad. but my heart can never hate him. and now they both seperate but not divorce. been trying to make them reunite again but other just don't get my intension. i don't know since when this happen to me. always fighting for the impossible. when will this fighting end? i getting sick of my life. wish i was dead. now i only have 1 wish to GOD. please take me away. always looking for tomorrow, wishing i will die in my sleep. wish i will never wake up tomorrow. my darkness starting to eat me from inside. losing my sanity. i becoming the one type of person i hate most.